Thursday 17 April 2014

I AM A LAZY BENEFITS SCROUNGER!



I have not worked a job in three years and that according to most people in Great Britain makes me a lazy benefits scrounger, I am a burden to the taxpayer and a burden to the Great British public. I have 4 children that all rely on benefits to feed them, the media call us parasites and as usual most of the British public would probably agree with them, but upon closer inspection surely even a feeble minded News Corporation propaganda reader should be able to spot the real parasite here. Before you judge me and call me a benefit scrounger listen to my story, after all we read the stories and opinions of our mainstream media every day.

Before losing my job I worked in a family business followed by a spell with large building company and then I went to another small business that was run by me and my friend for a few years. From the age 16 to 29 I was almost always in work, earning money paying taxes, getting drunk and acting like a perfect little citizen, until worked dried up leaving me no choice but to sign on and claim benefits.

To be honest at first I loved having the time off, I watched documentaries, read and played computer games, who would not love that? After a while I started making YouTube videos, at first they were shit and some people would say they still are shit but that is not my concern. What is my concern is the fact that much to my surprise my videos slowly started gaining more and more views. I read about YouTubers making millions and with YouTube advertising on nearly all my videos I figure surely I am entitled to something.

Youtube reject Monetization on my videos meaning that I cannot advertise on them,at first this did not really bother me but I noticed that YouTube were still advertising on my videos! I disable ads on my videos but the ads simple stay there. I send YouTube and Google emails and even a letter to there head office requesting a payment and to this day I have had no response. A few months previous and YouTube showed on their Analytics that they owed me $13000 dollars only to take the amount down to zero a couple of days later.

Realistically YouTube owe me more than $13000, in fact if YouTube were to pay me $5 for every 1000 views (a tiny amount considering that most of my videos contain adverts that YouTube will be getting paid for) they would now owe me $70000! So before calling me a lazy benefits scrounger consider how much hard work has to go into making political and mythology documentaries alone. I am not the BBC or News Corporation and my videos may be cheaply made, not HD, and not perfect but still if I receive 14 million views I should be paid for 14 million views regardless of the what Google, the government or anyone thinks of my videos. Before accusing me of being a parasite remember that if I had the $70000 that YouTube owe me in my bank I would not be relying on benefits in the first place, a corporate giant that is literally worth billions of pound cannot pay me the measly amount they owe but they can pay PewDiePie seven million per year I have received no payment in over three years, the day that I receive a payment will be the day I can come off your precious benefits!

In Britain claiming benefits is presented as a shameful, desperate thing to do, they call you a scrounger, a parasite, a tramp and many other cheap insults designed to make people on benefits feel ashamed. I can honestly say I have heard them all, all you have to do is open the newspaper and people that claim benefits are attacked on a daily basis, guess what, FUCK YOU and your measly benefits.

You see most people wine and complain about benefits in Britain do it because they are jealous and unsatisfied with their own miserable existence. I might not wake up at 6 am sharp and follow orders all day to pay for some rich man's expensive lifestyle but that does not make me evil. The people that moan about benefits tend to be the same idiotic people that do not batter a eye lid about oil wars, MPs expenses, the Monarchy and rest of the money our government waste, the people that moan about benefits tend to be a group of middle class wannabe, do gooders that do nothing but evil in their lame and ignorant attempts to do good.

When I get paid by YouTube (which I will because I will not shut up until they do) I have a few plans about what to do with the money, release and promote my DVDs and Books to start with, maybe buy a new car move house and privately rent in a better area, and wedge a few grand down a few peoples throats while screaming "fuck you, you conformist moron" and maybe adding "I fucking warned you this would happen"


   

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